“Who has measured the water’s in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? Who can fathom the Spirit of the Lord, or instruct the Lord as his counselor? Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge, or showed him the path of understanding?” (Isaiah 40:12-14)
God is far more mighty, powerful, and vast than many of us realize. Oftentimes we put Him in a box; we make Him small. We wall Him in with the drywall of our small thinking and small believing, then expect Him not to seep through our walls. God cannot be contained. There is no box you can put Him in that He will remain in. All of the oceans, seas, lakes, rivers, and streams He measured in the hollow of his hand. It doesn’t say “hands” it says “hand.” Cup your hand. How much water can you hold in that one hand? Not much. God, in just one of His hands, held all the water on all the earth. Now look at the breadth, or width of your hand. God marked off the heavens with the breadth of His hand. “Heavens” refers to all of creation and the universe. (Biblestudytools.com) With just the width of His hand He measured it all. He held all the dust in all the earth in a basket. Even with the biggest basket you have ever seen, you couldn’t hold but a fraction of the earth’s dust. And it's dust; how exactly do you hold dust in anything? He weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance. The largest industrial scales we know of could not weigh even one mountain. And the very largest of balances could not weigh even a small pair of hills. Are you beginning to see the vastness of God? Are you coming to grasp how big He is, how incredible His power is? Are you beginning to comprehend how small you may have made Him in your life, in your prayers, in your circumstances?? When hardship comes, when you lose your job, when your loved one dies, when they leave, when the accident happens, when the darkness won’t relent, when sickness overcomes, when the sadness becomes your cloak, when the fear is overwhelming…it’s so easy to make God small, and the problem becomes our god; it takes our attention, it commands our heart, it dwarfs God in our minds leaving us hopeless and broken. We forget that God is Almighty. We forget that He made the heavens and the earth. We forget that He parted the Red Sea. We forget that He set all the stars in their places. We forget that He has numbered all the hairs of our head. We forget that He gives us breath. We forget that He is our shield, our refuge, our defender, our light, our salvation. Let me remind you today of how big your God is: “Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.” (Psalm 147:5 NIV) “For God is so wise and so mighty.” (Job 9:4 NLT) “These are just the beginning of all that he does, merely a whisper of his power. Who, then, can comprehend the thunder of his power.” (Job 26:14 NLT) “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17 ESV) “Once God has spoken; twice have I heard this: that power belongs to God.” (Psalm 62:11 ESV) “Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.” (Psalm 145:3 ESV) “He is wise in heart and mighty in strength—who has hardened himself against him, and succeeded?” (Job 9:4 ESV) “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” (Genesis 18:14a ESV) “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for me?” (Jeremiah 32:27) “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:28-31 ESV) “For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods.” (Psalm 95:3) “Jesus looked at them and said, ‘With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26) “It is he who made the earth by his power, who established the world by his wisdom, and by his understanding stretched out the heavens." (Jeremiah 10:12 ESV) So, what are you facing today? Are you facing a mountain of bills you can’t pay? Are you facing a loss that has left you numb, broken, and alone? Are you facing an illness that has consumed your life? Are you facing decisions with no answers in sight? Are you facing the dark tunnel of depression? Are you facing overwhelming anxiety at all of the uncertainty life brings? May I suggest that you turn your face upward, above your current problem, to behold the face of the one who made you, who knows you by your name, who knew you before you were ever born, and who is mighty to save. He is big. Big enough to stop the mouths of lions. Big enough to part a raging sea. Big enough to bring dry bones to life. Big enough to handle what life brings. Big enough to make the heavens. Big enough to make the earth. Big enough to come and die for you, To show you just how much you’re worth. Big enough to quiet turbulent storms. Big enough to stop the hand of death. Big enough to overcome our greatest trial Big enough to give all life its breath. You may think He does not see you. You make think you are all alone. But child, He has never left you And He is big enough to bring you home…. Written by Anne Marie Hawke August 2020 To subscribe to my blog or to find out more about my writing, please visit my website at hawkewriter.com
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“I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.” (John 17:26)
“So long as we imagine it is we who have to look for God, we must often lose heart. But it is the other way about—He is looking for us.” Simon Tugwell “God does not need the Creation in order to have something to love because within Himself love happens.” Frederick Buechner The heart of God is one of love, unfathomable love, and intimacy, epic intimacy. And because it is such, it is a love that lays itself down, it is a heart that gives elaborate freedom, knowing when true freedom is given there is the chance for rejection. God wants our hearts, but He will not take them by power or by knowledge because power and knowledge don’t qualify for heart. He wants us to choose Him, not because He demands it, or explains that His love is what is best for us, but because we see His heart of love towards us and respond in kind. Years ago when I came upon the verse above in John 17:26 I felt something stir within my heart as I read it then, and I still do now. It was my deep longing for that kind of intimacy, for that kind of love. The love I had known was a selfish love, the kind of love that only loves you so long as you are useful. I spent most of my young life trying to get someone to love me: my parents, my siblings, my husband, my children, my friends. But I was broken, I couldn't love properly, and when I tried I just couldn’t do enough, be enough, give enough to make anyone stay and love me. Time and time again I was rejected. So when this verse found my eyes and then my heart it was as if my soul whispered, “Yes, I want that.” For a long time I ran from His heart, I ran from the intimacy He offered because it was so foreign to what I had known, and what I had known had grown very comfortable. Real love and intimacy are things that cause trepidation in a heart like mine. I so wanted to believe, to feel, to know what it was like to truly be loved and accepted, yet I didn’t think I was worthy of it…so the thing I wanted most I kept pushing away, like a wounded animal who so needs compassion and care but lashes out in fear and pain when they are offered. But God kept pursuing me, He kept wooing me when I didn’t deserve it, when I messed up, when I hurt others, when I hurt myself, He just kept coming after my heart. He just kept accepting me. He just kept loving me. He just kept finding me in the dark alleys of my wounded soul and bringing me back home to His heart and to His arms. And one day I just began to let Him in, I began to open my heart, I began to trust that He was good and could be trusted. And He came in like a flood. I have never known this kind of love; a love that stays, a love that heals, a love that surrounds, a love that penetrates the deepest parts of my heart with the sure blade of intimacy. I am known. I am loved. I won’t ever be alone. I won’t ever be rejected. I am always welcome. I can tell Him anything. I can be wholly me. I am enough. I’m not trying to get someone to love me anymore. He loves me…His heart is ever toward me…He won’t ever leave me… “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine…” (Song of Solomon 6:3) I encourage you: Stop running. Stop hiding. Let Him in. The love you want, the intimacy you crave begins and ends in Him. The Waterfall I came upon a waterfall rushing off the cliffs I felt its spray brush against my skin I sat upon the grassy edge of torrential splendor Slipped my feet into the space within I stood, my senses reeling from its might I took a step toward the raging flow I felt a sense of deep fear and wonder pulling What could I lose if I trust and let go? The span of all my life came before me I stopped to get a clearer view Always in the shallows somehow avoiding The rush of water which now ensued I heard a voice cascading from the heights I leaned in, deciphering what it said “How long will you stand there in trepidation?” “How long will you live as though dead?” “Step into the powerful flow of my love.” “Step under the weight of my heart.” “Stop trying to secure love from empty vessels Who are ever ending before they start.” My heart received the message given I plunged myself beneath the mighty flow The crashing water threatened to crush me “Be still child, trust my heart, and let go.” The weight of the water poured over me Lifting off all my filth and shame I felt love so deep and overwhelming I knew I would never be the same…. My prayer for you taken from Ephesians 3:14-21, “For this cause”---my want that they may know You, that they might come to ‘see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living,’ (Psalm 27:13) that they might lay down their burdens, their heartache, their pain, confusion, and the uncertainty of this world… “I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passes knowledge, that you might be filled with all the fulness of God. Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.” Written by Anne Marie Hawke August 2020 To subscribe to my blog or to find out more about my writing please visit my website at hawkewriter.com "Plead my cause, O Lord, with them that strive with me: fight against them that fight against me. Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for mine help. Draw out also the spear, and stop the way against them that persecute me: say unto my soul, I am thy salvation." (Psalm 35:1-3)
Have you ever had an enemy One you couldn't see and couldn't touch One who vexed your every moment One who grieved your heart so much? Have you ever had an enemy One made of flesh and bone One who looked you in the eye And mocked the kindness shown? Have you ever had an enemy One who looked a lot like you One who went everywhere you went One who did everything you do? Have you ever had an enemy One who hated without a cause One who sought to destroy you One who pursues and then withdraws? Have you ever had an enemy One who would not relent One who who not go away No matter how much time was spent? Have you ever needed courage to stand and say, "No More!!!!" Have you ever needed strength to push closed an open door? There is a mighty warrior One who hears your desperate plea One who see the relentless torment One who sets the captives free There is a God in heaven who knows you by your name Who fights against your enemies Who puts them all to shame The battle is not yours to fight He will stand up; come to your aid He is your rock and your salvation Stand aside: He will make a way... Many years ago I was in a very abusive relationship. He was the epitome of what evil looks like cloaked in skin. He was a manipulative, controlling monster. During that period of time in my life I was a very different person from the one I am now. I was a weak, broken, hurting, insecure, fearful woman. And he took complete advantage of that in every way possible. He planned to break my spirit, my mind, my body, and my soul. And he just about succeeded. But God had other plans. By the grace and mercy of God I was able to escape after years of abuse. It's been well over twelve years now since I cut him off and out of my life. And just a few weeks ago his number showed up on my office phone. Normally that would have caused me to fear, but this time it made me righteously angry. I immediately blocked his phone number and took all of the other necessary steps to cut him off once again; the most important of which was to plead my cause before the Lord. Within the last several months I have had a family member come against me financially; attempting to attach debt to me that is most definitely not mine. She assumed like all of the other times in the past that she could 'scare' me, that she could intimidate me into paying for things that I did not purchase, for a company I am no longer associated with. But I am not that scared, easily intimidated woman anymore. So I did what I needed to do: I prayed and pleaded my cause before the Lord. I reached out to the highest authority and I trust Him to set it all right. She planned to make me look bad, to destroy my credit, to belittle me and my God. But God had other plans. By His grace I am not scared. I am stronger and have more peace in His presence than I have ever known. I will not be bullied because my God is a Mighty Warrior. (Exodus 15:3) I will not be intimidated because "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13) I prayed and continue to pray the entirety of Psalm 35 as my anthem of freedom before the Lord. "Let them be confounded and put to shame that seek after my soul: let them be turned back and brought to confusion that devise my hurt." (Verse 4) "...and let the angel of the Lord chase them. Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the Lord persecute them." (Verses 5b-6) "Let destruction come upon him unaware: and let his net that he has hid catch himself: into that very destruction let him fall." (Verse 8) "Let not them that are mine enemies wrongfully rejoice over me: neither let them wink with the eye that hate me without a cause." (Verse 19) "Let them be ashamed and brought to confusion together that rejoice at mine hurt: let them be clothed with shame and dishonor that magnify themselves against me." (Verse 26) I did not come to this place of courage and defiance against 'my enemies' without first praying for them both, without seeking the Lord on their behalf, without asking His mercy upon them. It was when they persisted, when it was evident that their hearts were anything but turned toward the Lord, that my righteous refusal of their tyranny commenced. Listen to what David says about halfway through Psalm 35: "They rewarded me evil for good to the spoiling of my soul. But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom. I behaved myself as though he had been my friend or brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother. But in mine adversity they rejoiced, and gathered themselves together: yea, the abjects gathered themselves together against me, and I knew it not; they did tear me, and ceased not..." (Verses 12-15) I heard God say the end of verse three, deep in my heart this morning as I prayed; "I am thy salvation." He has me. And He won't let go, nor will He allow my enemies to triumph over me. I felt the end of my fear. I felt the end of my intimidation. I felt the end of their ability to effect me. And I felt the end of their ability to harm me anymore. Do you have enemies? Do you need God's help? Are you living in fear? Let the Lord plead your cause, let Him stand up for your help, let Him be your salvation. His heart for you is immense. His grace is overwhelming. His care and protection of those that are His is fierce. Trust Him. He won't ever let you down...not ever! Written by Anne Marie Hawke July 2020 To find out more about my writing or to subscribe to my blog, please visit my website at hawkewriter.com "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." (Hebrews 4:16 KJV)
“But God’s free gift is not at all to be compared to the trespass (His grace is out of all proportion to the fall of man). For if many died through one man’s falling away (his lapse, his offence), much more profusely did God’s grace and the free gift (that comes) through the undeserved favor of the one Man Jesus Christ abound and overflow to and for (the benefit of) many.” (Romans 5:15 AMPC) “God sees us not as we are but as we will become.” ---Ken Costa Grace Named Fierce Forgiveness Extravagant Love Unrelenting Mercy Over Above Ugly made Beautiful Wrong made Right Sin made Righteous Dark made Light Covering Shelter Undeserved Life Holy Reflection Brilliant Light Broken made Whole Twisted made Straight Vile made Holy Small made Great Quiet Yielding Explosive Change Mighty Redemption Grace Named Grace is hard to define because it is such a wonderful, amazing, powerful thing. Grace came by, of, and through Jesus. "And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth." (John 1:14) The common definition of grace is the ‘unmerited favor of God,’ but this definition is just not enough to depict what grace really is. Grace is: Grand Forgiveness Radical Kindness Astounding Acceptance Ceaseless Mercy Extravagant Love Grace is extraordinary. Grace pushes past the wrong done, the hurt received, the violence perpetrated, the soul tangled, and loves anyway. God displayed His grace in Jesus on the Cross saying, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34) God extended grace to the thief next to him on the Cross, saying, "Today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:43) Grace found Saul on the road to Damascus and blinded him with the light of His love; a man who had been renowned and feared for killing Christians. Grace can be seen in the forgiving father of the prodigal son, who ran out to meet him and threw his arms around him after he had been away living a disobedient, rebellious life. Grace is God calling David “a man after his own heart;” even though, as part of his past, David had Uriah premeditatively killed at the front lines of a battle, so that he could have his wife. Have you ever needed grace? Have you ever made a mistake? Failed deeply? Done something that made your heart ache so much you couldn’t escape it, no matter what you did? Have you ever betrayed someone you love? Have you ever hurt someone you love more than life itself? Have you ever been involved with someone or something that made you feel so worthless, so profoundly dirty that you never thought you would ever be clean again? Have you lied? Have you murdered someone with your tongue? Have you ever thought you’d done so much wrong that nothing and no one could ever make it right again? I have. I know what it is to need the grace of God. I know what it is to regret, to lament the past. I also know what it is to be touched by the grace of God, to be loved, to be forgiven, and accepted despite my past. I know what it is to have the King of Glory show up in the middle of my sin and shame. I know what it is to be restored, to be made whole, not because of anything I am, but because of everything He is. I didn't deserve His kindness, or His love, but grace left the ninety-nine, and came to find me on the cliff of my guilt and shame. (Luke 15:3-7) Grace stooped down low to meet me at the level I had grown accustomed to, and whispered; “Do you know what your name means? I had your parents call you Anne. Anne means 'grace.' I knew you would need my grace long before you ever knew you would need it. What you have done is not who you are. You are my child, I love you, and I'm here to bring you home." He gently picked me up, held me close to His chest as my tears and His grace flowed together as one. It’s what grace does. I didn’t deserve it. I couldn’t earn it. It just showed up when I needed it most. Grace is a gift. The only thing you can do with a gift is receive it. God did all the work. He purchased the gift with His own blood, He wrapped the gift with His great love for you, and He tied it closed with the bow of forgiveness. When He set the box of His grace before me, at first I hesitated. I looked at my accusers—they knew what I had done, they knew what I deserved. I looked at myself—I was so filthy, I had done so much wrong, I wasn’t worthy of a gift, let alone one this grand and extravagant. Then I looked at Him—He wasn’t condemning me, He was looking at me with eyes so full of love and compassion. He handed me the gift of His grace and I received it. As I untied the bow of His fierce forgiveness, my eyes filled with tears and my heart expanded. As I removed the wrapping of His unrelenting mercy, I felt my guilt and shame give way. As I opened the gift of His grace, His extravagant love washed over me in waves. My accusers are still there. Self-doubt may come to call. But once I had received His amazing grace, guilt and shame couldn’t own me anymore. This grace is amazing because it is unusual. It doesn’t play by man-made rules and I don’t get to decide who receives it and who doesn’t. Grace levels the playing field. You can’t be good enough and I can’t be bad enough to outdo God’s grace. Neither one of us can earn it. But we both need it. Listen to Ephesians 2:4-9; “But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love for us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” God can take the vilest of sinners and turn them into a breathtaking masterpiece of His grace. Grace takes away our right and our need to judge. “There but for the grace of God go I,” is no longer just a quote I say, it’s a reality I recognize most humbly. I know what I am capable of without the grace of God working in my life. By faith I believe that God took me out of the way, He paid my debt, so that I can now live His life (Romans 6). And the more I discover about this grace I am standing in, the more I realize I had not fully accepted the depths of it for myself. Pastor Michael Todd said this, while speaking on grace; “The reason most of us don’t give grace away freely to other people is because we have not fully received it for ourselves.” I realized that for most of my life, I had packed my own grace measuring stick around with me, like God somehow put me in charge of determining where and how He measured grace??? What I’ve found is: His grace cannot be measured, because the person who I might think could never be used by God, is the very person God will rescue and show His glory through. Truth be told, the people who I had considered the worst sorts of people (at least until God had me look in the mirror), were those who were the most open to receiving God’s grace because they were aware they needed it. The person who feels they are ‘good’ may not see their need for God’s grace because they are standing in their own righteousness (which, by the way, God calls “filthy rags”—Isaiah 64:6). Have you fully received the grace of God? Are you aware of the vastness of the gift you have been given? I encourage you to receive it fully and to give it away freely to yourself, (because you will mess up again), to your past, (because without grace it will rob you of your present and future,) and to everyone who has hurt you or will hurt you in the future, (because hurting people hurt people, and we all need the grace of God.) Grace is amazing. Grace is overwhelming. Grace is beautiful. Grace is a gift. Grace doesn’t dig up your past, grace heals your past. Grace knows what you did, what you said, who you hurt and pursues you anyway. Grace sees you through eyes of love and mercy, not with eyes of judgment and hate. Grace is inexhaustible and always available. Grace allows people to change. Grace does not allow you to keep doing whatever you want (Romans 6), but rather grace constrains you to love like Jesus loves (II Corinthians 5:14). Grace is not holding anything against you, it is holding its arms out to you... Another Voice I Heard Once upon a time in my dark past I yielded to fear, did a horrible deed I betrayed trust, hurt someone I love Dug a trench so wide and so deep For years I hid it away in my heart For years I buried it, I let it lay Under the surface, enclosed in pain It festered there, polluting my days Shame my constant companion Whispering condemning words When one day beyond my guilt Suddenly another voice I heard "Yes, what you've done was awful And never should have been done, But Child, I died so you might live The victory has already been won I have not come to condemn you I have come to set you free Those holding rocks can't harm you My grace will meet your need." I couldn't believe His kindness I couldn't believe His love I fell to my knees in tears His mercy reigned from above Grace looks beyond the offense Grace looks beyond what was done Grace looks past my sinful deeds Grace unveiled in the Son My accusers may still be there To them I am worthless, ignored But grace doesn't ask my accusers Grace asks only the Lord He thinks thoughts that are higher He loves with a love so huge Those with the stones will scatter As His reckless kindness pursues I know who I am without Him I know what I am capable of Without His grace and mercy I am void, without heart, undone We all have need of His grace We all have need of His Cross We are all in the same state Hopelessly, desperately lost So, who are you holding hostage? Yourself, your neighbor, your friend? Your mother, your father, your colleague? When will the antithesis of grace end? We don't get to decide who receives Our works don't determine grace He gives it freely to anyone Who receives the sacrifice He made Put down your weapons of anger Put down your rocks of hate Look at the freedom you're missing In the light of His great love and grace... Written by Anne Marie Hawke July 2020 To subscribe to my blog or to find out more about my writing, please visit my website at hawkewriter.com "This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him." (Psalm 34:6-8 NIV)
Have you ever found yourself in the midst of troubles? An isolated incidence of trouble is one thing, but multiplied troubles are an entirely different thing. It reminds me of the Star Trek episode, The Trouble With Tribbles; it began with one cute little Tribble, and ended up with the whole Starship Enterprise overrun with Tribbles! Sometimes it seems our life is the Starship Enterprise and we have more troubles/Tribbles than we bargained for. In these places where troubles mount to outrageous heights, we are left with a choice: We can become buried under our troubles and try to dig our way out on our own, or we can call out for help. When we opt to figure things out on our own, we almost always end up in more trouble than when we started. I can honestly say that every time I attempted to get out of my troubles in my own strength it never worked. But every time I yielded, every time I called out to the Lord, He heard me and 'saved me out of all my troubles.' Just last year I suddenly found myself without a place to live, without a source of income, in a new city, with few connections, and it all happened within a matter of a few hours. Those are troubles. But, I had learned to pray, I had learned to trust in the fires of affliction I had walked through before. So I called out to the Lord, and within 48 hours I had a home, I had a place to practice, and I had a big dose of hope. I had tasted and seen that the Lord is good. If a chef sets a plate of tasty food in front of you, but you never dig in, you just let it sit there and you don't partake of it, you won't know if it is good or not, right? So it is with the Lord. He came, He lived, He died for you, and He rose again to set you free, and yet so often we treat Him like He is the parsley on the plate rather than the main dish. We don't partake of Him. In John 6:36 Jesus says of Himself, "I am the bread of life: he that comes to me will never hunger; and he who believes on me will never thirst." In Psalm 23 David writes, "You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows." Psalm 46:1 says this; "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." When we taste/partake of Him, when we ingest Him into our lives, when He becomes our food we learn that He is good, very good. We learn that He is our refuge, the place where we can find shelter in the midst of our troubles. We learn that He is our strength and that nothing is too hard for Him. We learn that He is our help, and we are not on our own, nor left alone. So, have you tasted and seen that the Lord is good? Or are you trying to make your own food, and He is simply a garnish you add onto your plate? Or are you stubbornly refusing to eat what is right in front of you, what has been prepared for you? Have you looked in the mirror of your heart lately?--you look a little thin and undernourished dear one. I encourage you to pick up the fork of faith and dig in...you will not be disappointed!!! Taste and See I have tasted dirt, remains of earth My life was an endless sea of pain Trouble came rushing into my world choking me, changing my name I have tasted ash, remains of death Loss so profound and deep Poison vast and unrelenting into my veins began to seep I have tasted gravel, remains of rock Stubborn places I couldn't chew Breaking apart my pretty teeth on pieces of Pride's residue I have tasted brass, remains of metal Judgement weighing me down Not seeing the journey set forth I threw others onto the ground I have tasted life, remains of Christ A Phoenix raised out of the fire I have tasted I have seen that He is good No other food I now desire... Written by Anne Marie Hawke June 2020 To subscribe to my blog or to find out more about my writing, please visit my website at hawkewriter.com "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him." (1 John 4:7-9 NKJV)
How are we to live? We are to 'live through Him.' God's love was shown in Christ. He came, lived, and died so that we might not live unto ourselves anymore, so that we could be new, whole, redeemed, and alive. "For in Him we live and move and have our being." (Acts 17:28) "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17) The love of God transforms; old to new, darkness to light, death to life. The love of God transforms the heart. Once you have truly been apprehended by the love of God, His love and life begin to flow into you and out of you to others. You see, God came after me in the person of Christ. His love overtook me. He pursued me into the depths of my darkness and shed His light on me. And I was undone. His love made me new. His love, in one instant, made all my wrongs right. In Him I won the relationship lottery and I finally understood why the numbers had never lined up for me before. I have made mistakes, some of them massive. I have lied. I have cheated. I have hurt those I love. I have moments in time that I wish I could undo...but His love for me pushes past all of that and says, "I choose you, I love you, I want you my beautiful, precious child." And now that love, His love, pours out to others. Minute by minute, day by day, it keeps growing, I keep growing as I spend time with Him, as I come to know Him. How do you get to know someone? You spend time with them, but more than that you communicate with them, you listen to them, you ask questions, you dig beyond the surface, beyond the veneer they portray outwardly, to get to really know their heart. God knows you inside and out, He knows your every insecurity, your every worry, your every thought, every piece of your heart, even those pieces you think you have hidden away from everyone. God loves you, so much so that He died for you in the person of Christ, that you might no longer live for yourself, but so you could 'live through Him.' God has spoken in the person of Christ, He has spoken through His word, He speaks through circumstance, and joy, and trial and tribulation. And in every place what He is speaking, what He is manifesting is His overwhelming love for you. Can you hear Him? The love of God, living through Him is the answer, and it simply doesn't matter what the question is. Poor relationship? Answer: The love of God. "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God..." (1 John 4:7) Death/Loss? Answer: The love of God. "The oil of joy of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness..." (Isaiah 61:3) Confusion? Answer: The love of God. "For God is not the author of confusion but of peace..." (1 Corinthians 14:33) Worry/Fear? Answer: The love of God. "Fear not, for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed..." (Isaiah 41:10) Racism? Answer: The love of God. "[In this new creation all distinctions vanish.] There is no room for and there can be neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, [nor difference between nations whether alien] barbarians or Scythians [who are the most savage of all], nor slave or free man; but Christ is all and in all (everything and everywhere, to all men, without distinction of person." (Colossians 3:11) Lying? Answer: The love of God. "Do not lie to one another, for you have stripped off the old (unregenerate) self with its evil practices,.." (Colossians 3:9) Hatred? Answer: The love of God. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16) God's love. Every question. Every time. We need the love of God. We need Jesus. LOVE IS... Love is not selfish It thinks of others first Love is not proud It waits to be heard Love is not unkind In thought, word, or deed Love is not shallow It wades into the deep Love is not low Stooping down only to lift Love is not silent Each word a precious gift Love is not restrained It will not be bound Love is not subdued Is never lost once found Love is not still It pursues what it seeks Love is not dull It is strong, never weak Love is not fragile It stays and it fights Love is not darkness But the giver of light Love is not trivial A most rare, vast treasure Love is not quantifiable It will not be measured Love is extravagant beauty It is humble and giving Love is pure bliss It makes life worth living... Written by Anne Marie Hawke June 2020 To subscribe to my blog or to find out more about my writing, please visit my website at hawkewriter.com "So Naomi returned, and Ruth the Moabitess, her daughter in law, with her, which returned out of the country of Moab: and they came to Bethlehem in the beginning of barley harvest. And Naomi had a kinsman of her husband's, a mighty man of wealth, of the family of Elimelech; and his name was Boaz." (Ruth 1:22-2:1)
The name Boaz means 'in him is strength,' and he is called a 'mighty man of wealth.' The word of God and much of life can often be found in the details. I heard it said recently that 'God is too great to find anything too small.' The whole of life, it's meaning and purpose are found in simple things becoming profound. When someone we love dearly passes, it is not their accomplishments or what they did that we cling to, it's who they were and how they touched our lives in a thousand tiny ways that added up to one giant love. Boaz was more than likely a man of physical strength, but he was also a man of profound character. He was a man of great physical wealth, but he was also a man who possessed profound wealth of heart. You see, both of these women returned to Bethlehem as poor widows. Naomi had lost her husband and both of her sons. Ruth had not only lost her husband but was now living in a foreign land amidst a foreign people, having chosen to come back with her mother-in-law to her homeland, rather than to return home to her own family. Ruth goes out one day to glean after the reapers in the fields; a job she was entitled to do as a widow and foreigner (Leviticus 23:22), and she just so happens to end up gleaning in a field that belonged to Boaz. Boaz notices her and asks his servants who she is. Once he finds out, he speaks to Ruth and tells her to stay in his fields and to not go to glean anywhere else, he lets her know that she will be protected, and given a place to eat and to get water while she is working. He also commands his young men to leave extra for her to glean, so that she will have all that she and Naomi need. She works for him all through barley and wheat harvest (a few months), and then Naomi says to her, "Wash yourself therefore, and anoint yourself, and put on fresh clothing, and get down to the threshing floor: but do not make yourself known to him, until he is done eating and drinking." (Ruth 3:3) Noami knows that Boaz is a near kinsman to them, and as such he can become a kinsman redeemer; one who restores and sets wrongs right. So, Ruth goes to the threshing floor; the place where grain is crushed and beaten to remove the chaff, and once he has laid down she uncovers his feet and lays herself down there in an act of complete submission. Ruth could not be sure she would be accepted by Boaz, but she makes herself vulnerable and waits. When Boaz wakes up and finds her there at his feet, and learns why she has come, he covers her with his skirt which is an act of acceptance, protection, and the acknowledgement that he is willing to marry her and become her kinsman redeemer. Shortly thereafter Ruth becomes his wife, and now the woman who came to Bethlehem a widow and penniless, is married to a mighty man of wealth, and the field she used to work in now belongs to her. And so it is with God...He sees you...He knows how hard it's been....He knows your loss...He knows your hurt...He knows your heart. He's been leaving morsels for you of His love scattered about the ground...Can you see them? The people He has put in your life, the friends who helped you when you were having a rough go of things, the card that came at just the right moment, the gorgeous sunrise you saw this morning through healthy eyes, the food you eat, the roof over your head, the clothes you wear...all bits of barley left by a mighty man of wealth who has taken notice of you...and there's much more to behold. So when will you go to Him there on the threshing floor? When will you let Him show you that He was beaten and crushed for you so that He could redeem you and set you free? (Isaiah 53) When will you lay at His feet in humble submission and allow Him to cover you with His wealth and protection? When will you allow Him to marry you, to become one with Him in intimate union? "Now when I passed by you, and looked upon you, behold, your time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over you, and covered your nakedness: yes, I sware unto you, and entered in a covenant with you, says the Lord God, and you became mine." (Ezekiel 16:8) He's right there. He's always been right there. Get your eyes off the ground, off of your circumstances. Look up. Your Kinsman Redeemer has taken notice of you, He is looking at you with loving kindness, and He desires to make you forever His and to share His wealth of heart with you... Cover Me Cover me in your wealth Flow over me in every place Not with mere riches but with the beauty of your grace Cover me with abundance Let it rain down from above Flood my emotions, my heart with your pure, precious love Pour out your gentleness As I lay quietly at your feet Cover me with your splendor fill my every desire and need Penetrate my solid surfaces Melt away the years of dross My Boaz, come and rescue, wealth consuming deep loss Marry me to your majesty In you I am forever found Dressed in mercy's loveliness, to your richness every bound Written by Anne Marie Hawke May 2020 To subscribe to my blog or to find out more about my writing please visit my website at hawkewriter.com "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law? Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:36-39 NIV)
Did you catch it? Who are we to love? We are to love God. We are to love our neighbor. We are to love ourselves. How you feel about yourself has much to do with how you feel about others. So, how do you feel about yourself? Do you like you? Do you love you? I didn't. I didn't like me and I certainly didn't love me. I'd done things in my past (guilt) that led me to feel certain ways about myself (shame). Guilt is; Look what I've done. Shame is; Look what I am. Guilt is; I did a bad thing. Shame is; I am a bad thing. Guilt is external; it looks outward toward our actions. Shame is internal; it looks inward toward our feelings about ourselves. Shame kept me from loving me. I wore it like a brightly-colored cloak drawing the attention of shame's siblings; fear, doubt, self-loathing, anger, sadness, low self-esteem, and distrust. Shame told me over and over again; "You are worthless." "You are not enough." "You are despicable." "You are bad." "You are unloveable." "You are unwanted." "You are nothing." "You are weak." For years I listened. And for years I was abused, mishandled, mistreated, misunderstood, used, and devalued. Shame left unchecked in my soul destroyed me from the inside out. When you don't think you are worth anything, everything of no worth finds its way into your life. I remember the day it changed. I was dealing with some deep rejection and pouring out my heart to God, when I heard these words deep inside of me: "I know you love Me, and you are beginning to learn how much I love you, but you don't love you...why do you despise what I made, what I love, what I cherish?" I was undone. Being rejected by someone else has nothing on being rejected by yourself. I rejected me, I didn't accept me, I didn't like me, I didn't love me. From that day on I began to renew my mind. I began to like me. I began to learn to love me. I found out that God "made me accepted in the Beloved." (Ephesians 1:6) I heard God say from His word in Jeremiah 31:3, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you." I discovered that "I am fearfully and wonderfully made..." (Psalm 139:14) I found out that I am "the apple of his eye." (Zechariah 2:8) And slowly the lies were taken apart. I wasn't 'bad.' What was done to me was bad. I wasn't 'worthless.' I am of great value, so much so, "that He gave His only Son." (John 3:16) If the God of the whole universe loves me, wants me, accepts me. and cherishes me then I can love me and accept myself free from shame, free from my past, free from all that would try to hold me back from all that God has for me. So, if you don't like you much today, if you don't love yourself, I encourage you to see yourself as God sees you, to ask Him how He sees you...because His perspective is the only one that matters, and He is crazy about you, He can't live without you, He is off the charts madly in love with you, so perhaps it's high time you start loving yourself! The Image of Me A nothing, a waste, a worthless thing These were the lies I have known The voices of others cold and harsh were nothing compared to my own Used, discarded, less than, bereft These were the image of me If you believe you have no value then valueless is what you will be One day in the quiet stillness of pain A whispered question clear as day Simple words hit like a hammer, "Why do you despise what I made?" I say beloved, the apple of my eye I say beautiful, whole, renewed I say your image the likeness of mine You were never made to be used Lift up your eyes to the heavens Lift up your head bowed down The image you have held distorted A broken mirror keeping you bound I love you now and forever My child, feel your shame no more Release your grip on the handle For my love has closed that door... Written by Anne Marie Hawke May 2020 To subscribe to my blog or to find out more about my writing, please visit my website at hawkewriter.com. "But Naaman went away angry and said, "I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, wave his hand over the spot and cure me of my leprosy."
(2 Kings 5:11) Naaman came with expectations. He expected Elisha, the prophet of God, to do a certain thing in a certain way to heal him, and when his healing did not go the way that he expected, he 'went away angry.' Rather than coming out to see Naaman, a respected commander in the army of the king of Aram, Elisha sent a messenger out to him and told him to dip seven times in the Jordan River in order to be cleansed of his leprosy. Naaman's expectations almost kept him from his healing. Thankfully his servants talked him off the cliff of anger and pride; he did what Elisha told him and was healed after his seventh dip in the Jordan. An expectation is a pre-conceived notion of the way things should go; it's a strong belief that something will happen as we perceived it to. We all have expectations. Maybe you expected your job to always be there and now it's not. Maybe you expected the doctor to say, 'You're cancer free!' but instead they say, "I'm sorry, the cancer has come back and it's spread.' Maybe you expected your baby to be born healthy and strong, but instead you find yourself on your knees praying for them to be well, as they lay there with tubes and wires running in all directions. Maybe you expected you would pass away long before your children, but you find yourself weeping as you place more flowers next to your son's grave. This is not what we expect. We expect things to go right, be right, for all to be well in our world...but life isn't like that, not real life. At every place where our expectations are thwarted, when what we thought would happen didn't; we have a decision to make, a choice in how we respond. At the point of decision we can either stay in the paradigm we have always stayed in and become disillusioned, depressed, or fearful, OR we can choose a new paradigm. When hard, unexpected things happen, when the rug is pulled out from underneath us, when the job is gone, the diagnosis is bad, our loved one is not coming back---there is a place we can go where our expectations meet an end, and our hope begins. My life is not where I expected it to be. I have known outrageous abuse, terrifying sickness, deep loss, and profound rejection...yet I have hope and the kind of joy that you wear like a warm blanket on a bitter cold day. How is that possible? It is possible because every time I come, every time I kneel, every time I pray and yield; He is always more than I ever expected. If the job is gone; He is my Provider. If the cancer is back; He is my Healer. If the child dies; He is my Comfort and I can rest in the hope and knowledge that I will hold them in my arms again. My expectation is in Him. All other expectation can and often does fall short of what we envisioned. I can expect Him to always be in control. I can expect Him to always triumph. I can expect Him to keep His word. I can expect Him to be faithful and true. I can expect Him to never fail. I can expect Him to never leave me or forsake me. I can expect Him to make all things right. I can expect Him to restore. I can expect Him to be God yesterday, today, and forever. We may not know what to expect tomorrow...but we can expect Him to be there sheltering, holding, uplifting, carrying, being our all in all, no matter what, for all of time and eternity. Expectation When my heart is heavy tears flowing wave after wave When all is darkness I expect Him to save When pain is unrelenting When fear is the only gage When shadows surround I expect Him to save When words fall like hammers every one placed in rage When my confidence is shattered I expect Him to save When the relationship is over When everything was all I gave When sorrow covers like a shroud I expect Him to save His love is never failing He knows my inner ache I will forever trust Him I expect Him to save He holds all my expectations He knows my every stage He is my hope for always I expect Him to save Written by Anne Marie Hawke April 2020 If you would like to subscribe to my blog or find out more about my writing please visit my website at hawkewriter.com "And he turned to the woman, and said to Simon, Do you see this woman? I entered into your house, you gave me no water for my feet: but she has washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head. You gave me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in has not ceased to kiss my feet. My head with oil you did not anoint: but this woman has anointed my feet with ointment. Wherefore I say to you, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much; but to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little." (Luke 7: 44-47 NIV)
The woman in the above verses was known to be a sinner, a notorious sinner. Everyone in the room knew what type of woman she was. Perhaps some of them there had been 'involved' in her sin with her. As Simon sat there, he thought within himself, "If this man were a prophet he would have known who and what manner of woman this is that touches him: for she is a sinner." (Luke 7:39) Although everyone there thought her to be unworthy, and knew of the darkness in which she had lived her life...yet she still bravely came, she bravely bowed, she bravely wept and washed His feet with her tears, then wiped them dry with her hair; she poured out the ointment she had brought, as well as her heart on Jesus' feet. She lavished Him with unashamed love because she knew who she was. She knew what they said of her. She knew she was considered 'less than.' She knew she was considered to be dirty, vile, disgusting. She knew she shouldn't be there...but what she knew of Him compelled her to come, compelled her to weep, compelled her to pour extravagant love on Him...because she knew He was the only one who could set her free. And Jesus did not rebuke her, He did not reject her, He did not despise her...He knew she had had plenty of that. Instead He loved her extravagantly, He defended her to Simon and all those there, and then He forgave her of her many sins. He saw a child of God. He saw a daughter of the King. He saw her as pure. He saw her as beautiful. He saw her as His. This woman; I see myself in her. I've been her. I am her. The tears still flow freely when I remember all that he has brought me out of, all that He has rescued me from, and forgiven me for. When God found me, when I finally heard Him calling my name, I was in a very dark place. I was someone I didn't recognize, caught up in circumstances, doing things that were foreign to who I was created to be. I went to church as a child, but what I had suffered as a child and young adult did not coincide with a God who said He loved me. As a result I didn't know how to trust Him, and where I found myself as an adult proved that to be true. So when God showed up in a tiny trailer in Kentucky one morning, I was ill-prepared for the depth of the love I found myself engulfed in. He wanted me and loved me despite my failings, despite my darkness, despite my mistakes. I was wrecked by the reckless love of God. My life did not become a beautiful mosaic to His name all of a sudden; nor was I the poster child for what it means to be a follower of Christ instantaneously. I continued to struggle, I failed again and yet again, but He was there and He loved me. I still don't get it right all the time, but He loves me, accepts me, and leads me through each day. I trust Him more than I ever have, and I need Him every second of every day. I have been forgiven so much. I have been rescued from so much. As a result I love much. I love...when I'm rejected. I love...when I don't understand. I love...when I am despised. I love...in silence. I love...in the storm. I love...when I'm lied to. I love because He first loved me. I love because I remember who I was without Him. I love because I have no place to judge anyone at any time. I love because 'there but for the grace of God, go I." (John Bradford) I Know Who I Am I know who I am without Him I've seen the depths of my darkness I've murdered with words like a gun I've made playmates of death and destruction I've courted the devil like a lover cherished I've danced with demons under the setting sun I know who I am without Him There's no place to hide my disgrace There's no solace in this deep abyss There's no place to escape the torment There's no rescue for all that's been lost There's no place in which my soul fits I know who I am without Him Unforgiving, lost, unkind, bereft A desperate tangled chord A selfish child clinging to a broken toy An empty shell of nothingness A vile woman who knows no Lord I know who I am without Him I know the damage I've done I know of wounds still fresh I know sorrow hangs like a cloak I know silence speaks volumes I know pain begs for death I know who I am without Him I know the day it changed Confronted by love so vast, profound Undone in the fortress I'd made All that I was without Him Poured like dross on the ground I know who I am with Him I'm new, clean, made whole I'm washed, forgiven, adored I'm holy, made righteous, secure I'm nothing I was without Him What was, ...now is no more You may not be a notorious sinner, but you have still been forgiven much. So the next time you find yourself judging another person, remember what you have been rescued from, remember what you have been forgiven of...and choose to love much. Written by Anne Marie Hawke April 2020 If you would like to subscribe to my blog or learn more about my writing, please visit my website at hawkewriter.com |
qUIET IN CHAOSQuiet in Chaos is a blog about nothing, everything, and all things inbetween…it’s a space, an ellipsis, a deep pause. Life can be chaotic, and often needs more moments of quiet…So join me as I share and give through the written word, the place I find my Quiet in Chaos… Archives
February 2022
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