 “Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing…” (2 Corinthians 6:10a)
I wrote this poem on the 19th of August, thinking I would turn it into a blog the next day...God had other plans...and now, here on the other side of my brother's passing, I want to share it with you as I and my family grieve our loss...he left a big hole. Seeds of Joy What is this joy mixed with my sorrow? How do joy and sorrow become one and blend? While this loss is bringing tears to my eyes There’s joy in knowing it’s not the end What is this sorrow mixed with my joy? Sometimes life is full of such deep pain The loss cuts like a two-edged sword Exuding death, yet bringing life again What are these tears both salty and sweet? One part elation, one part depressed Cascading down as pieces of liquid glass Piercing with sorrow yet joy is expressed What is occurring in all I cannot see? This Presence which gently blends the two As sorrow and joy flow and collide in me Unfolding, revealing, making all things new What is unveiling as I yield to this? Peace hovers over my barren soul I hear a whisper of wisdom, “Let it be.” Holding, caressing, taking control What is this sorrow mixed with my joy? I tremble as though I will melt into dust My heart is so heavy yet vastly alive “This child, is what it feels like to trust.” “Yes, it hurts when it does not go your way Yes, your sorrow is tangible and real But it is nothing compared to the depths Of the joy you will know when all is revealed Sorrow and joy are often intertwined The roads they travel often collide Sorrow often tries to overpower joy Joy often seems to disperse and hide Yet in every place of Sorrow’s work There exists the seeds of glorious joy When you yield into Sorrow’s cold ground The power of my Spirit I then employ Up from the darkness of Sorrow’s earth Up from the depth of all you cannot see Joy comes with the morning light As you keep your heart and focus on Me So let Sorrow complete her perfect design Let your heart grieve and feel the pain Knowing that Joy’s flowers will bloom still Yielding immense beauty after Sorrow’s rain…” Joy wrapped in sorrow. Sorrow wrapped in joy. These packages seem a bit overwhelming, sort of like receiving a box marked ‘Candy!’ when what is really inside are ‘Rocks.’ It is very easy to get consumed with sorrow. Sorrow falls like a cloak over our deepest disappointments and losses. But I have found that when I stop and look, when I listen intently, I can hear and see joy mingled in with my sorrow. A memory comes and I smile, the Spirit moves and I am reminded that He will make all things new. (Revelation 21:5) Hope sparks joy. And we need hope most when we find ourselves in places of sorrow. We need Romans 8:38-39; “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” We need Revelation 21:3-4; “And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain; for the former things are passed away.” We need to know that God is still on His throne, that His love never fails, that His mercy endures forever, and His grace is inexhaustible. Sorrow does not have the final say unless we allow it to. As Jesus prepared for the Cross in the Garden of Gethsemane we read this in Matthew 26:36-38; “Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray over there.” And he took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.” Jesus was overcome by sorrow, the Amplified Bible states, “My soul is deeply grieved, so that I am almost dying of sorrow.” Why? Why did He take on this kind of sorrow, the sorrow of all of humanity collectively? Hebrews 12:2b tells us, “…who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” It was the joy set before him that caused him to bear the intense sorrow. The joy of redeeming you and I, the joy of setting us free, the joy of setting everything right that had gone so wrong in the Garden of Eden. There, Adam and Eve went from great joy in the paradise God had made for them , to the sorrow of shame and depravity at their fall. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus went from great sorrow in taking on Himself all of the sin and sorrow of fallen man, to the joy of restoring us and all that had been lost. It’s been two days since my brother Bill passed away. I am in the throes of sorrow yet I still feel the subtleties of joy underlying my tears, mixing with my emotions, stirring in my soul….as memories come, funny things he said and did, thoughtful things he’s done, wisdom he’s given when I couldn’t make sense of things, hugs, and his amazing laughter…ever an optimist, ever a little bit clueless, ever my brother Boolly. So if you find yourself in the place of sorrow, know that He is planting seeds of joy, know that you will smile again, and laugh again. Keep your focus on Him and watch as your mourning is turned into dancing…if not in this life, in the one to come…take heart brave soul, there are always seeds of joy being planted in the garden of your heart, even in the midst of deep sorrow. Written by Anne Marie Hawke August 2021 To subscribe to my blog or to find out more about my writing, please visit my website at hawkewriter.com
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 “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
“But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For you see our calling brothers, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God has chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; and base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yes, and things which are not, to bring to nothing things that are: that no flesh should glory in his presence.” (1 Corinthians 1:24-29) Weakness Is Strength Your strength outweighs my weakness Your power overshadows my strength Your light overtakes my darkness Quieting all my chaos and inner angst You appropriate what was taken You reclaim ground that was lost You raise a barrier of protection Your grace is ever more than enough You are all-sufficient consummation You dance upon the grave of shame You are all-consuming mercy Yielding to the beauty of your name You carry me through completely You add to what is wanting in me You bring an end to my false self Accomplish your purpose, set me free Your loving-kindness is sufficient Your strength is fulfilled when I am weak Therefore I glory in my weakness That the power of Christ may rest on me… His grace IS sufficient for me—not was, not will be, IS. It is sufficient right here, right now. Why? Because His strength is made perfect, complete in weakness. To God my weakness is a place of strength. Most people see weakness as a thing to be shunned, dismissed, abhorred even, but God sees it as a divine opportunity to display His strength. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:10, “Therefore I take pleasure in my infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” I would not have known God’s strength fully unless I had known what it is to completely run out of my own. Have you been there? Do you know what it is to have your body, soul, and spirit so wracked with pain that you can’t lift your head? Do you know what it is like to only breathe the air of weakness into your lungs—to choke on it? Do you know what it’s like to have your emotions wrung out like a wet dish cloth until you have nothing left to give? I can honestly say over the course of my life that it was in my places of greatest weakness where I saw and experienced the strength of God the most. And now I know that my weakness is where His strength dwells. I now know that I can do nothing without Him (John 15), nor do I want to. To the degree I am yielded to Him, to the degree I become weak before Him, is the degree to which I will know and experience His strength. So what are you facing today? Are you trying to stand in your own strength? Is the door closed? Is your womb empty? Is your child gone? Is the illness overwhelming? Is the relationship over? Are your finances thin? Is the depression too heavy? Is the anxiety too thick? Is the loss devastating? The loneliness palpable? The time over? Don’t fight your weakness, yield to His strength. Don’t stand far off thinking He has forgotten you, let his grace cover you and draw you close. His grace is enough, so stop trying to be so tough… Written by Anne Marie Hawke August 2021 To subscribe to my blog or to find out more about my writing, please visit my website at hawkewriter.com |
qUIET IN CHAOSQuiet in Chaos is a blog about nothing, everything, and all things inbetween…it’s a space, an ellipsis, a deep pause. Life can be chaotic, and often needs more moments of quiet…So join me as I share and give through the written word, the place I find my Quiet in Chaos… Archives
February 2022
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