“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)
“But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6)
I stood there with a thousand keys and tried them one by one. The door was immense and looked as if it possibly weighed a ton. I had stood here several times before concerning the same desperate need. But weakness and self-deprecating thoughts kept me from reprieve.
“Why do you keep trying? Can’t you see you look like a fool? None of those keys is going to work, even if you now have the proper tools.” Thoughts as scoffers came launching doubt with growing glee, but something had been resolved in the deepest part of me.
Demons now spoke in hissing tones; ”You should surely quit now. You will never breach that door. You are nothing, unworthy, you will fail as you did before!" I knew it wouldn't be easy, nothing worthwhile ever is, as I looked up to the heavens, and firmly fixed my eyes on His.
I had made it to five hundred, now halfway through the keys. Just then a quiet, persistent voice was heard beckoning me; “Don’t quit, you will get there, when your faith becomes increasingly loud. You are not alone in this, I am here and I am proud."
I reached for another key and shut out all other noise. I needed a breakthrough and this was my only choice. Conviction rose within me as I spoke the words aloud, “I will not give up!!!!!!!" I turned key seven hundred fifty, still nothing, yet I kept drinking from the Cup.
My hands and heart they hurt now, yet I chose to not give in. Anything worth having is a thing for which you should persist and win. Key nine hundred now, only one hundred left to go! My anticipation began to mount and steadfastly grow.
My pace had begun to quicken, I would have what I had sought. Behind this enormous door, the answer to all that life had wrought. My heart within me pounded, my pulse I could hear. Key nine hundred fifty-six, then suddenly everything became unclear?
Doubt and fear flooded in again, a deluge threatening to drown. I reached for the next key but it was so heavy, it pulled me to the ground. My breath quickened and my throat was enclosed by familiar hands. “Do you really think I’d let you win? You will die here where you stand!”
Despite the growing terror, I knelt down before the door. I yielded in submission to my Savior and my Lord. I felt Fear’s breath upon my neck, but I remained where I had kneeled. “All I am is Yours Lord, help me to persist despite what I feel.”
A renewed strength coursed through me, I felt Fear release his grip. I placed another key within the door, turned it, and felt the lock slip. This was the key to freedom from all which had so plagued my history. I pushed the door with all my might, and again fell to my knees.
Light engulfed my weary soul, I was lifted from the place I knelt. I drifted over the threshold and joy was now all I felt. “Well done child,” He said proudly, "This is where you were meant to be, for faith is not seeing before believing, rather it is believing until you see.”
"The fight of faith is not easy, many there are who give up. As you've tasted, there are a lot of dregs inside the Cup. When things are hardest and the answer seems far away, hold fast, cling to Me, and believe for what you pray...
Right now I am standing in faith for many things in the lives of others and in my own life. These are unprecedented times we are living in and I believe it is time to "lay aside every weight, and the sin which does so easily beset us, and to run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:1b-2)
Whatever you are currently believing God for, press in, press on, don't quit. His word is true, He is good, He does not lie, and He cannot fail!
Father I pray that you would stir the faith of all Your saints everywhere throughout the world. I pray that we would keep our eyes fixed on You and not on the many distractions and divisions here on the earth. I pray for each individual who reads these words that You would heal, deliver, save, restore, comfort, mend, and align them with Your will and Your purpose for their lives. I pray protection over them. I pray they would surrender to You and to Your precious Son and to Your amazing Holy Spirit. I pray they would gain a new hunger for Your word, a new passion for Your heart, and a new anointing of Your presence. I pray Your life over them and in them. And I pray You would bring us together, that You would unite us as one as You are One. Thank you Abba, I believe You fiercely for all I have just prayed. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Written by Anne Marie Hawke
To subscribe to my blog, or to find out more about my writing please visit my website at hawkewriter.com
“Behold I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him,and he with Me.” Revelation 3:20 NKJV)
Calling out across the vast expanse
Like waves gently caressing the shore
A stirring, a whisper, a vapor of hope
You come, You wait, You stand at the door
The ache is constant, won’t relent
Longing for resolution, a quiet peace
No way through it, no way around
A refuge, a home, my heart seeks
A touch slides across my skin
A caress reaches deep into my soul
An embrace sinks into my heart
Surrounds, pulls, takes control
All within me wants to resist
A fortress, a bastion, all on my own
Fear of a caged animal, ferocious, bereft
What is this presence, like nothing I’ve known?
Tears flow uninvited down my cheeks
I stand here shaking, completely undone
Warm liquid love breaks in, uncompromising
Intimacy unparalleled, we become one
Why do we war against You, weapons in hand?
Why do we think we know what to do?
Why do we run full-on the other way?
When what we need is found only in You
Forgive us Lord, our foolish, arrogant pride
Forgive us for warring against our own flesh
Forgive us for hiding, for stealing away
For yielding to all that only brings death
Your love is a bulwark from all that’s without
Your love is a shelter from war raging within
Your love is vital, magnificent, all-encompassing
Your love is the end to all we begin….
It’s easier to keep the door to our heart shut. It’s easier to steal away, to hide behind the door of pride, the door of fear, the door of self-will, the door of unforgiveness, the door of shame, the door of isolation. Jesus is standing outside the door of your heart, knocking, inviting, waiting, imploring. Can you hear Him? He wants to dine with you, to enjoy your company, to enjoy the fullness of who you are. He wants to “prepare a table before you in the presence of your enemies,” so that He might let them know that you won’t be partaking of their meals anymore.(Psalm 23:5) Meals of doubt, cowardice, anger, deception, betrayal, fear, pain, loss, and helpings of soul crushing despair. The ‘bread of life’ wants to be your sustenance, your very life.(John 6:35) But a person standing on your porch knocking is not a guest, until you open the door and let them in. What doors of your heart have you sealed shut, while Jesus stands on the porch as if He’s an interloper, an unwanted guest?
Pray with me:
Father, today may I swing open the door of my heart wide, may I let you in every room, and sit down with you to a meal You have prepared for me. May I allow myself to be vulnerable. May I allow myself to let my guard down. May I allow You to flood over me in deep, penetrating intimacy. May I allow You to heal my heart, to heal my mind, to heal my soul. May I allow You to truly be Lord of my life in every place. Let it be so sweet Jesus…I pray and believe in Jesus’ mighty, matchless name…
Written by Anne Marie Hawke
To subscribe to my blog or to find oui more about my writing please visit my website at hawkewriter.com.
qUIET IN CHAOS
Quiet in Chaos is a blog about nothing, everything, and all things inbetween…it’s a space, an ellipsis, a deep pause. Life can be chaotic, and often needs more moments of quiet…So join me as I share and give through the written word, the place I find my Quiet in Chaos…